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[Nov. 1st, 2009|09:47 pm] |
Hello November. Welcome.
(I write this every year...)
It was a cold and sunny sunday morning today. (crunching leaves and leather boots)
And I was listening to J.S. Bach as I was riding the train through the beautiful slightly foggy landscape, framed by mountains of orange.
Hello, November. Welcome. |
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| an all-time favorite. |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|06:26 pm] |
ALL time favorite. (I played this in an orchestra. And with 2 other violinists and 3 cellists. and I want this to be played in my wedding service. :))
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|01:00 pm] |
this album will be the next purchase i make. |
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| it's about life. |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|11:39 am] |
I long to write. Write for my life. Write, or the cynicism will catch up.
(Write, Pauline, write!)
Writing means cultivating the longing. And the longing might be all we have to live on.
I remember, a few weeks ago, still in Germany, I stood at a platform, waiting for a train. I was to be on my way to Berlin and there were oh so many sparrows, all hopping around me. And I considered them. I considered the sparrows, and I would have loved to pick one of them up and hold him in my hands. When I was a child, we would always rescue the sparrows our cat had caught, and they were lethally hurt, but we'd pick them up anyway, chase the cat away and take care of the little bird until it flew away for one last time. (Probably, it would have been grace to just leave the bird in the mouth of the cat.) And one time, a sparrow flew into our living room. And it refused to find the way out to the window by itself, so I picked it up, enclosed it in my childish hands and brought it outside. It's such a strange and wonderful sensation -- a bird enclosed in your hands -- holding so much freedom, weakness and strength, all at once. A miracle.
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I wrote a poem for Marc on my second day in RI. And then I laughed and cried myself to sleep. And I wrote, as if my life depends on it.
in Chicago:
The sun finds its way through the leaves, meaking them shine in a bright green; friendly, calming, unafraid. (and providing oxygen) Children play and scream while their parents hover over them to try to calm them, or they take about a million pictures. There is a strange mix of people, pigeons, and empty coffee cups. The city is busier than it was during the last two days: more cars to be heard, more people filling the cafes, sidewalks and parks; and more light of the sun to yet again multiply the freckles on my skin.
The human heart can cope with a lot, but I think nothing is as difficult as the permanent tension of the heart, and right now, for me, the longing for a loved one.
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It's a beautiful, sunny day in Rhode Island, and as soon as Marc called, I will go out and take a long, long walk.
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"...and may He be in you, to give you the peace that makes no sense." |
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| lovely |
[May. 18th, 2009|06:05 pm] |
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| !!! |
[Apr. 17th, 2009|05:46 pm] |
Dear Rhode Island,
I am very thrilled to inform you that I can really visit you this summer.
I will arrive in Boston on August 5th in the afternoon, will drive down to visit you and will leave again on September 23rd from said city in Massachusetts. (I think that'll give us plenty of time for hanging out.)
I cannot wait to see you again!
Love,
~ P. |
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| blue lips can bring forth a song, and the meek shall inherit the earth. |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|10:55 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | (I try to listen to the silence.) | ] | It is nighttime now, and birds were still twittering as the evening slowly came to town. A careful green decorates the trees now, still discrete, but losing its timidity more and more with each passing day. (When I will return to this town, I probably will not be able to recognize the tree in front of my window -- it will have put on a new dress.)
Spring has arrived with all its force now, and the breeze gently carries my thoughts away -- right now, to France, where my love rests his head these days. Vacation is almost over, and a car pulls to the side of the road.
Tonight, we sang and drank wine, laughed and sat silent. Four girls. A-capella. Four voices, lifting up songs to the Lord. Blue lips, forming words and a melody.
There is a lullaby that I know from my childhood, and everytime we sing together, it has to be sung. I learned the words by heart when I was very little, by singing it again and again, so many nights before I went to bed. I had never understood them, they hardly made any sense in that old and rusty German that didn't fit my everyday language. I rediscovered that song about half a year ago. The words hold so much meaning. They hit so deep.
Wenn dein Aug ob meinem wacht / wenn dein Trost mir frommt / weiß ich, dass auf gute Nacht / guter Morgen kommt.
Come here and I'll sing it to you. Rest your lovely head upon a pillow, I'll sing and watch you fall asleep.
My heart is overflowing with joy. God constantly pours out blessings over us, but only lately have I been awake enough to see.
Easter is close, I will be allowed to enjoy coffee again, and I can hardly wait for the greeting on Sunday morning at church: "The Lord is risen! He is risen indeed!"
Der Herr ist auferstanden! Er ist wahrhaftig auferstanden!
But before, Good Friday. (O how happy I am to know what will come on Sunday.)
and in all of this, blue lips can bring forth a song, and the meek shall inherit the earth. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 10th, 2009|10:30 am] |
i have 5 exams on friday.
i'd love to pass them. yes, i am asking for a miracle.
(but if i don't pass all of them, i get a few bottles of wine. there were people insane enough to bet that i'd pass them all.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|09:10 pm] |
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let thankfulness abide. |
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| alive |
[Nov. 14th, 2008|01:28 pm] |
i'm still alive, doing very very well, meeting the most amazing people, having wine on a thursday night, the first oral exam coming up in a week, love and faith and good conversations, much coffee and much too little time to write, no internet yet (but monday, as it seems).
i am so thankful - God is great. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2008|10:37 pm] |
in a few weeks, i'll go to university.
(longer update to follow.)
<3 |
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